You decline the cup of water with a polite gesture, and with a slight shrug that you don't quite understand, the receptionist returns to her position behind her desk. After another 14 minutes pass by, you are called in for your appointment. Do you [[enter]] or do you [[suddenly remember that you didn't lock your car and return to the car park]]?

With a look of startled horror, you quickly excuse yourself from the dental surgery for a moment, and hurry out the door to your car, which sits unlocked in a far corner of the car park. Without warning, a motorbike screeches around the corner, hitting you square on. You die. Do you [[ascend to heaven]] or [[descend to hell]]?

You accept the offered cup of water and down it in one huge gulp. It quells the fire that is rising in your mouth with a loud hiss, and you let out a big sigh of relief. A small cloud of smoke billows from your mouth with the exhalation, and you find this mildly interesting. Having averted the disaster, the dentist returns to his work on your mouth. When he is finished, do you [[sit upright]] or [[wait until he raises the chair]]?

You decline the water once more and realise your mistake almost instantly. Your mouth fills to the brim with heat, and you realise with horror that your tooth is on fire. You let out a chilling scream of agony as your parched mouth is engulfed in flame, but it's too late. You are dead within seconds. Do you [[ascend to heaven]] or [[descend to hell]]?

You wretch up sticky black blood onto your own hands, and the stench makes you recoil sharply. You stagger to your feet, finally able to take in more of your surroundings than simply what was on the ground (which was no a mixture of gravel and blood). Ironically, now that you have the opportunity, you realise that it is pitch black. A voice suddenly fills the air around you, and you are unable to determine what direction it comes from. "Welcome," the voice says lowly "to hell." There is something in that tone that makes you want to hurl again, but you force it down. The words "bloody hell" wander vaguely through your mind and you almost laugh. The only reason you don't laugh is because the gravel and blood have just disappeared from beneath your feet and you are plunging down through the inky blackness. You flail hopelessly, but it achieves nothing. You hit another ground a few seconds later and your soul splinters painfully, shooting off in every direction.

You enter the surgery, and take you place in the patient's chair. The dentist introduces himself, places a surgical mask over his mouth, and tilts your chair back. After several minutes of tinkering within your mouth, he asks his assistant for a drill. She passes it to him, and he fires it up. The drill buzzes in his hand, and he moves it slowly towards your mouth. For no particular reason, you suddenly remember just how parched you are, and you vaguely regret saying no to the cup of water that the receptionist offered to you in the waiting room earlier. \nAs the drill makes contact with your teeth, it sends a jarring sound throughout your skull, and you wince with discomfort, but think nothing of it.\nAfter no more than a few moments of drilling, the dentist recoils in shock, drill in hand. A terrible acrid smoke fills the air. You may not be trained in the field of dentistry, but you definitely know that isn't meant to happen. Do you [[sit upright]] or [[remain lying down]]?

With a scream that would send a chill down the spine of Hannibal Lecter himself, your soul is ripped from your body with scorching agony. You are dragged, still wailing, straight through the ground on which you met your demise, and hurtled down through the core of the earth, and into pitch blackness. You cannot tell if you are moving until your body collides harshly with a surface that feels not unlike gravel. You clamber to your hands and knees, and [[vomit blood onto your own hands]].

You accept the paper cup of water, and down it in one gulp. After another 14 minutes pass, your dentist calls you into the surgery. Do you [[enter and sit]] or do you [[suddenly remember that you didn't lock your car and return to the car park]]?

You bolt upright in the chair, hitting your head sharply on the light that is hovering over you. The bulb shatters, glass shards flying in every direction, including into your eyes and down your throat. You gag, and begin to choke, clutching at your bleeding face desperately. But you are too late. You oesophagous is shredded by the glass shards, and blood begins to pour into your lungs. Before long, you drown in your own blood. Do you then [[ascend to heaven]] or [[descend to hell]]?

You arrive at the dental surgery fifteen minutes before you are due for your appointment, and the receptionist inquires as to how recently you've had anything to drink. You reply in the negative, and she offers you a paper cup filled with cooler water. Do you [[accept]] or do you [[decline]]?

With a blinding flash of brilliant white light, your soul departs from your body, ascending skywards with alarming speed. The further away from the dental surgery you get, the faster you seem to travel, until you reach the speed that you can no longer even tell if you are moving or not. You break through the clouds and are thrown onto your stomach, gasping for breath and damp with dew from the clouds. Unable to cope with the shock, you faint, but not after [[vomitting unglamorously]].

The Misfortunes of Dentistry

Fighting valiantly to quiet the panic welling up inside you, you remain still. There is a horrendous heat radiating from one of your teeth, and the dental assistant is thrusting a paper cup full of cold water towards you. Do you [[decline the water again]] or [[accept and drink]]?

Alexandra Crook

After you've thrown up, you curl up onto your side, and attempt to take in your surroundings. You are lying in front of a set of enormous golden gates, and there is a suspiciously homosexual looking man standing barefoot in front of you in a cut off white rob. A gold disc dances above his head, and realing with shock, you realise you're in heaven. Or, at least, outside of it. The supspiciously homosexual man extends his free hand to you, helping you to your feet. His other hand holds a large wooden clipboard with a ball point pen hovering a few inches above it. You eye this pen quizzically, and it spins slightly as the man gives a small cough. "Welcome," he says softly "to Heaven." You faint again.

You enter the surgery and sit down in the patient's chair. The dentist fixes a surgical mask to his face, and begins to work on your teeth. After a few mintues of tinkering inside your mouth, he asks his assistant for a drill. She passes it to him, and he switches it on. The drill wirrs to life in the dentist's hand, and he begins drilling against a few of your teeth. The feeling it sends through your skull is uncomfortable, but bearable, and after a little while, he is finished. He notifies you of this. Do you [[sit upright]] or [[wait until he raises the chair]]?

Patiently, you wait until the dentist has returned the chair to it's upright position before you move. Once you are safely able to get up, you do so, letting yourself out. You pay the receptionist, and leave the surgery. As you cross the road to where your car is parked, a turck screams around the corner and hits you square. You die instantly, though not before thinking how unfortunate it was that you only just paid for your teeth to be tended to, and now they've been forced through the back of your skull to adorn the bitumen on which your body is sprawled. Do you [[ascend to heaven]] or [[descend to hell]]?